Jordan and I have been married for nearly one year. Since we got married, most of the changes have been subtle, and I know there will be many bigger and more important changes later on in our life. But in this first year, I’ve been changed in a way I didn’t expect. I’ve acquired a larger sense of practicality.
Is it practicality? Sometimes I feel like marriage has just made me feel older. Here’s what I mean: I’m in the market for some comfortable shoes to wear during school because I do so much walking around campus (you college girls who wear heels all day, I don’t know how you do it). I’m considering upgrading (or downgrading?) to a rolling bag instead of a normal backpack or shoulder bag. I don’t buy heels higher than three inches anymore, because I know I can’t take it. I don’t wear skirts more than a couple of inches above my knee, because I’m not comfortable in them.
I like to think these things make me more classy, more mature, and more practical. But sometimes I wonder, when it’s 10 o’clock and I’m thinking of going to bed – is this just what it feels like to finally become an adult? Is this just part of getting older?
Let me be clear. I’m not blaming marriage for some sort of premature mid-life crisis I find myself in. I’m just observing some of the changes in my attitudes, preferences and priorities that have come to pass since I got married. Maybe it’s good to choose practicality over pain (e.g. the high heels issue); maybe those kinds of choices prepare me for more important things later on, like a career, a mortgage, and a family. After all, I’ve already got a lot more on my plate than I did a year ago: a husband, a home and a job on top of school. I suppose it’s understandable to want to be more practical with how I spend my time and money.
When I told Jordan about my skirt length preference, he jokingly called me a “fuddy duddy”. While I confess that I do sometimes feel like one, I guess saving my back and my feet and my sleep and my modesty might be worth it. And I know I can be both practical and stylish/social/age-appropriate; that might just take some more experience and experimentation. I’m still getting used to my new “young married woman” persona, and I need some more time to adjust and grow into things.
But don’t expect to see me in “Mom jeans” any time soon.